It's that time of year when the BBC reveals the six entries for this year's Eurovision You Decide, with one being picked to represent the UK, this year in Israel. With the songs now released to the public online and on BBC Radio 2, we've taken a listen and given our verdicts below, plus which we think is our favourite. What do you think of this year's selection? Does the concept of having two different takes of three songs work? Who do you think should be picked? Will the first post-Brexit Eurovision be awful for us? Let us know in the comments section below!
Sweet Lies
The first of the three songs, this is lyrically simple but that's never been a problem for a Eurovision song. Here we have two distinctively different versions: a souped-up club version, and a stripped-back candle-light version.
Kerrie-Anne: The Soulful One
The clubbiest of the six tracks this is arguably the most commercial of the tracks, and could be easily ripped out of the charts with its familiar bridge build up and drum machine loops. Could that make it a little bit too credible for Eurovision? In my opinion the production is populist but also a little bland, and it could be any club-pop song from 2000 onwards.
Verdict: It has the commercial vibe and a catchy hook, and Kerrie-Anne has a strong soulful voice, but its production is a little familiar and forgettable. (6.5/10)
Anisa: The Mariah Carey One
Drastically slowly down the tempo for this take on it, this is much more Eurovision in its style. Anisa has a strong voice but her vocal style, with its wobbling element of fragility, is not to my particular taste. With its slow style it's much closer to X-Factor in its style but it fails to build to any sort of crescendo.
Verdict: The song works well in both versions and it's difficult to pick between them, but I would have to plump for the faster version as I'm not a big fan of Mariah Carey-style vocal trickery. (6/10)
Bigger Than Us
Two very different takes of the track here, but back memorable in their own distinctive ways.
Holly Tandy: The Country One
The country-tinged entry which ticks a box from me for my own personal taste. Holly's voice is powerful without being too over the top and it has enough of a hook to work, though it does run out of any ideas other than saying the word 'bigger' in different ways.
Verdict: I enjoy the country vibe, with echoes of Kylie Minogue's foray into the genre, but it lacks enough in the second half to keep you interested. (7/10)
Michael Rice: The X-Factor One
This second take on the song is much more stripped back, going back to a solo piano for the start and is, like I mentioned above on the first song, turns it into more of an X-Factor winner. Rice's 'Sam Smith' style vocals work well and there's plenty of heart in the song.
Verdict: With a key change and a soaring chorus this is definitely in reality television territory. A strong version but I prefer the style of the other version over this overly-familiar take. (6/10)
Freaks
As noted online, there's a distinct 'Canon in D' vibe to the production of both tracks. I really like this song though it's rather downbeat lyrics aren't quite Eurovision, and I'm not sure going into a post-Brexit Eurovision with a song that could easily be twisted in headlines to be reflective on the UK's European motivations is a wise idea. Also I'm not sure how well they will translate to the stage as both are rather production-heavy.
Jordan Clarke: The Poppy, Well-Produced One
I'm going to paint my colours to the mast and say this is the poppiest entry on the list. With its mid-tempo swagger delivery and Rizzle Kicks-style production this has the most variety in style, though it feels like the cheesiest entry on the list but it doesn't quite commit completely to the Eurovision campness. Though I'm not sure how you can make rhyming 'locker' and 'soccer' sound so weird.
Verdict: My poppier side is won over by this version, as it feels instantly memorable. Eurovision is pretty camp (obviously) and this is almost ticking that box. (7/10)
MAID - The Little Mix One
Channeling the popular girl group, it's not a huge departure from Clarke's take, but the production box has definitely been cranked up for this version, with the bass-heavy soundtrack from Interstellar thrown in for good measure. It feels like the version where they're throwing lots of things at the wall in the hope that something sticks.
Verdict: The three-part harmony is great but I just don't think its slow RNB vibe screams Eurovision. (6.5/10)
My Choice
It's a difficult one as each one is good in a different way (there's a cop-out statement if ever there was one), but if I had to settle on a decision I'd go for Holly Tandy as my personal preference musically, but I'd go with Jordan Clarke as our best chance. Even though it's quite studio-focused it's catchy, upbeat and fun, which is everything Eurovision is about, though lyrically it's neither outrageously cheesy nor straight-faced.
Not that it matters, as we'll still be at the bottom!
Each year I treat myself (!) and buy a copy of the #Eurovision album so I can preview all the tracks ahead of the final and collate my thoughts on which songs are the best. Though my picks last year didn't get reflected in the rankings - naturally I avoid politics and such like - here are my thoughts on 2017's entries. This list obviously includes all those that have yet to be disqualified in the semi finals and Russia who are no longer taking part, so let's see if my musical tastes match Europe's. I've categorised songs in three ways: miss for those that are a bit bland; hit for the better ones; and star for the best. And, as always, feel free to send your opinions below! Lindita - World (Albania)
A powerful song vocally but lacks any spark or huge chorus that really makes it stand out. Verdict: Miss Artsvik - Fly With Me (Armenia)
Entirely un-Eurovision. Bland with no highs or emotional moments. Boring. Verdict: Miss Isaiah - Don't Come Easy (Australia)
This is more like it, with a stronger start, though after a promising opening the song doesn't really go anywhere, which is a shame compared to the previous entries from the country down under. Verdict: Miss Nathan Trent - Running on Air (Austria)
The first of the songs that deserves more than a couple of listens. Smooth and slick with a laid back summery feel, this is a nice soulful number. Verdict: Hit Dihaj - Skeletons (Azerbaijan)
Interesting from a production point of view, this is quite a dark and semi-electronic number, and Dihaj's vocals are atmospheric, though the song doesn't quite have the progression you'd hope for. Verdict: Hit
Blanche - City Lights (Belgium)
'City Lights' is quite downbeat for a Eurovision song so that might work against it but it's an interesting and atmospheric 80s-sounding number. Verdict: Hit
Kristian Kostov - Beautiful Mess (Bulgaria)
'Beautiful Mess' isn't quite that in terms of its style but it's a bit bland and lacking any emotional highs. Forgettable. Verdict: Miss
Naviband - Story of my Life (Belarus)
The first entry here to be sung in their native language. Though the lyrics may be in need of a translate it's difficult to ignore the enthusiasm and energy in this fun poppy number. Verdict: Hit
Timebelle - Apollo (Switzerland)
The first of the memorable tracks, this is a catchy pop number with a strong central chorus and a radio-friendly vibe. Nice. Verdict: Star
Hovig - Gravity (Cyprus)
With hints of Robbie's 'Party Like A Russian' from earlier this year this is a storming like gritty pop number with a catchy chorus and a strong production feel. Verdict: Star
Martina Barta - My Turn (Czech Republic)
The first ballad that peaks my interest this is a smooth, touching, stripped back little number that showcases Barta's loveable vocals. Verdict: Star
LEVINA - Perfect Life (Germany)
With a neat backing track this lacks the power of some of the other big hitters but LEVINA's vocals and the David Guetta-style production values (Titanium anyone?) work in its favour. Verdict: Star
ANJA- Where I Am (Denmark)
Poppy and fun with a building energy and strong vocals, it just doesn't really doing anything special to lift it up above the usual Eurovision fodder. Verdict: hit
Manel Navarro - Do It For Your Lover (Spain)
Souding even more like Bruno Mars' 'Millionaire' than even the Austrian entry, this bilingual number has a catchy summery vibe like both tracks and a nice little riff, but the repetition of the title several times shows a lack of imagination even if it does give it a certain memorability. Verdict: Star
Koit Toome and Laura - Verona (Estonia)
Name-checking Romeo and Juliet, this power ballad has its moments and a bouncy production, and is certainly a grower. Fun. Verdict: Hit
Norma John - Blackbird (Finland)
'Blackbird' is a nice enough little song but it is pretty one-note and though the lyrics are touching and well written musically the song fails to ignite. Verdict: Miss
Alma - Requiem (France)
Naturally sung mostly in French 'Requiem' has plenty of power through its vocals and strings and is a little Shakira in its delivery but doesn't feel like a grand Eurovision number. Verdict: Hit
Lucie Jones - Never Give Up On You (United Kingdom)
This newer version is a little bit of an improvement on the original but, to paraphrase the Beatles, this wasn't even the best song in our internal semi-final. It's growing on me but it still lacks that interesting chorus and the song never reaches a particular peak. Verdict: Miss
Tamara Gachechiladze - Keep the Faith (Georgia)
Sounding like a song that could be a back-up Bond theme, Gachechiladze has some lungs on her and delivers the song with power, and the harmonised and call-and-response ending is pretty grandiose. Verdict: Star
Demy - This Is Love (Greece)
It's electronic focus suggests something modern and contemporary but actually it just sounds too much like a generic clubland track. Different but not really appropriate. Verdict: Miss
Jacques Houdek - My Friend (Croatia)
Splitting the vocals between Justin Bieber and Pavarotti would form a song like this before it emerges into a big bombastic chorus. Lyrically it's uplifting, if not a little cheesy, but the mix of vocals just comes across as unintentionally funny and at times is a little overpowering and perhaps pretentious. Verdict: Miss
Joci Papai - Origo (Hungary)
Sung in their native language this is well produced and focuses mostly on the music than the lyrics, which descend into rap half-way through, but it's missing something. Verdict: Miss
Brendan Murray - Dying to Try (Ireland)
A powerful song from the youthful singer which certainly ticks the box of Eurovision sounds. A good entry from our neighbours. Verdict: Hit
Svala - Paper (Iceland)
Sounding much more credible than what you'd expect from the competition this could well be a non Eurovision pop song. The lyrics at times might be a little cliched but the production, vocals and energy work really well. Verdict: Star
IMRI - I Feel Alive (Israel)
'I Feel Alive' with its building music and club-based chorus can be filed under the Calvin Harris-sound-a-like box. Nothing special. Verdict: Miss
Francesco Gabbani - Occidentali's Karma (Italy)
With music that sounds like The Wanted's 'Chasing the Sun' this is a high-octane hefty-pop number that definitely brings plenty of energy to the playlist. Fun. Verdict: Star
Fusedmarc - Rain of Revolution (Lithuania)
You can't deny the enthusiasm and energy of the singer but the song is a little too eclectic for my tastes and too unstructured. Has its moments but too off-the-wall. Verdict: Miss
Triana Park - Line (Latvia)
Latvian entry 'Line' has its highlights but, like others in the competition, falls into the same trap of club-hefty music that doesn't do anything special. Verdict: Miss
Sunstroke Project - Hey Mamma (Moldova)
'Hey Mamma' is another song that falls back on a club-style chorus, this time with a saxophone, therefore lacking the vocal hook it needs to be memorable. Verdict: Miss
Jana Burcheska - Dance Alone (F.Y.R. Macedonia)
You can't go wrong with hand-claps in songs. Fun and funky this is a neat little pop tune that settles in nicely. It lacks a huge chorus but certainly has a strong poppy outlook. Verdict: Star Claudia Faniello - Breathlessly (Malta)
Landing firmly in the power ballad category, this is a smooth, gentle number delivered with energy though it's perhaps a little run of the mill to really excel at Eurovision. Verdict: Hit Slavko Kalezic - Space (Montenegro)
This song might as well be a piece of rock that has the word 'Eurovision' written all the way through it. Catchy, perky, a little cheesy and full of energy, this is what the competition is about! Verdict: Star OG3NE - Lights and Shadows (The Netherlands)
OG3NE's vocals are sweet and very listenable with some great harmonies, and there's a slight tropical theme to the production, and the snatches of guitar and the faster paced vocals in the final third lift it up. Verdict: Star JOWST - Grab the Moment (Norway)
The youthful sounding JOWST brings this upbeat catchy number that mixes the Eurovision sound with something a bit more modern. Verdict: Hit
Kasia Mos - Flashlight (Poland)
Dramatic and bombastic, 'Flashlight' sounds just like a Eurovision power ballad which might be its fault as it doesn't really sound that distinctive. Verdict: Miss Salvador Sobral - Amar Pelos Dois (Portugal)
Far too good to be a Eurovision song, this is a gentle, smooth, throwback track of beautiful piano work and soaring strings. Sadly it's not the sort of thing that will do well in this competition. Verdict: Hit (But not for Eurovision) Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! (Romania)
Don't be thrown by the mentioning of yodeling; this isn't some Slim Whitman song. This is a Script-sounding modern pop hit with a catchy chorus with the yodelling fitting in very well. Verdict: Star Julia Samoylova - Flame Is Burning (Russia)
It's a shame that Russia has been excluded from the competition as this is an enjoyable powerful ballad with a catchy hook. Alas for them, no Eurovision success. Verdict: Excluded Valentina Monetta and Jimmie Wilson - Spirit of the Night (San Marino)
A strong duet, this is a catchy number with strong pop undertones and of course the key change! Fun. Verdict: Star Tijana Bogicevic - In Too Deep (Serbia)
Another strong Eurovision ballad but like some of them in this year's competition doesn't really do that much to make it stand good. Still good though. Verdict: Hit Omar Naber - On My Way (Slovenia)
Ticking the Eurovision box for power, this is a strong enough ballad but again fails to do anything that makes it stand on its own feet. It does have a good chanting end to it though. Verdict: Hit Robin Bengtsson - I Can't Go On (Sweden)
One of the few songs on the tracklist that comes across as an rnb song masquerading as a Eurovision number, this feels surprisingly credible for the competition. Verdict: Hit O. Torvald - Time (Ukraine)
Even though they're the home country they've not phoned in their entry with this Linkin Park-style dramatic rock number that offers something fresh to end on. Verdict: Hit The Final Verdict So with all 43 songs listened to, here is my top ten in the traditional Eurovision order. On Saturday we'll find out if I'm correct...
Timebelle - Apollo (Switzerland) - 12pts LEVINA - Perfect Life (Germany) - 10pts Slavko Kalezic - Space (Montenegro) - 8pts Svala - Paper (Iceland) - 7pts Hovig - Gravity (Cyprus) - 6pts Jana Burcheska - Dance Alone (F.Y.R. Macedonia) - 5pts Ilinca feat. Alex Florea - Yodel It! (Romania) - 4pts Manel Navarro - Do It For Your Lover (Spain) - 3pts Francesco Gabbani - Occidentali's Karma (Italy) - 2pts OG3NE - Lights and Shadows (The Netherlands) - 1pt
Record Store Day. What a washout. I had intended to write this month’s piece on it. Well, I queued for 2 hours to get into the store and found that the pieces I had intended to buy (Christopher Lee’s albums) weren’t even due to arrive until the following week – defeating the point of Record Store Day surely. Still, there’s one big topic to talk about this month; the grand final comes too late but the palaver around it and the semi-finals are still entertainment enough, and ripe ground for mockery. It is of course the national joke that is Eurovision; the place where I got to know the later Sir Terry Wogan for his merciless barbs, a trend that Graham Norton has thankfully continued.
And really, how can you not mock something that this year has had Australia continuing to enter, and getting into a dispute with the rules over whether facetime is an acceptable song lyric (it is as it turns out) and saw the British entry fight tooth and nail to be able to fly the Welsh flag (being from Wales) as the red dragon was seen as being a political statement and featured alongside the ISIS flag on the banned list. So, the first semi-final; opened up with last year’s winner supported by a band of oompa-loompas throwing dance moves right out of 2005; no more really needs be said about how ridiculous it looked, and that’s not even the actual show underway – that began with Sweden welcoming Europe, for the intro of Final Countdown to start playing (and how we all wish it was the final countdown already on the songs with enough cheese in them to keep Wallace busy for the next few years). As for the first semi-final: Finland were supposed to have a suede moose costume. I didn’t notice it first time, but the fact that I went back to watch again says a lot about how ridiculous they were. Greece sang about a rising sun and a utopian land, which just sounds like the Golden Dawn have abandoned running for parliament on a neo-Nazi ticket to just pen some sort of catchy tunes. Moldova were only notable for their failed Daft Punk hopeful – it’s robots not astronauts, read the memo next time. Hungary and Holland put in professional performances with little spectacle; do they not know what this is about? At least Croatia understood, dressing their act in what appeared to be tinfoil and some feather rugs under a curtain while San Marino entered a background character from the Godfather and some leftovers from Star Trek to take the can’t be arsed award. Cyprus, decent song aside, seemed confused as to where they are: Eurovision isn’t a place for serious rock bands, and the amount of cages seemed more suited to an S&M dungeon than on a stage – somewhere Estonia’s entry seemed to want to take you judging by their appearance; there’s a line where come hither eyes become the stare of a creep with a windowless van and burlap sack outside. They crossed it and then some. And the yearly surprise early elimination – that goes to Iceland. Possibly because of the Lovecraftian nightmare of ghostly hands, shadow monsters, Slenderman and Alfred Hitchcock’s Birds shadow play going on behind her; I wouldn’t vote to see that again. The second semi-final topped the first for the ridiculousness of the intro; a forced, hackneyed series of references that just made me think of an old radio show: And Be Done With It (Just the intro tune before the ed. changes anything). There were more interesting costumes to come – Switzerlands flaming arm-pits and blind for a skirt (still the best thing about their act) and Polands Sargent Pepper knock-off with the supply teacher goatee – for such a brightly coloured jacket it shocks me that the colour of his life was a very grey beige judging by the tedium of the song. Worse still was the Israeli act – glittery fingerless gloves and a haircut that made it look like A Flock of Seagulls had been chucked through the American shop Hot Topic, with a complete misunderstanding of the vetruvian man works. It made the Belarussian CGI wolf guitarist, and the brief duet between Benjen Stark and Dr Manhattan look normal, and that’s not something I ever expected to say (although given he was supposed to be naked with real wolves, I think we still dodged a bullet). It’s easy to poke fun at the rubbish acts, but Ireland definitely deserve it – like they tried to convince westlife to come back but couldn’t, so just threw together some lookalikes from down the pub, as opposed to the Macedonia act, who had clearly just come from the pub, screaming as she was for a doner, doner, doner (kebab). While I could ask why Australia are taking part (it’s genuinely baffling), what is even more baffling is why she was wearing a strip of diamond encrusted wallpaper as a sash across her shoulder; proper Kanye West level of dress sense going on there. It wasn’t even the worst costume though – that goes to Bulgaria, who dressed herself in strips of reflective vest, creating shoulder armour, leg braces and a single ear-ring out of it – presumably to make the haircut the least stupid thing about her. The final thing to note was the over use of lighting, particularly by the soviet bloc – Ukraine payed 20 grand for their lighting, while Georgia decided that raves were just too non-eventful, blinding everyone. Possibly to disguise the fact that their entry was Josh Widdicombe in a hat stolen from Pharrell Williams.
